Black Meringue

Driven

So, here it is. The hair’s up, the make-up on and the waiting over – but how are you going to get to the ceremony?

If this was a run-of-the-mill wedding magazine we might suggest a nice 1925 Rolls Royce Phantom in two-tone navy blue and white. Now don’t get me wrong, that’s a peach of a car: big enough for any bride’s über-meringue with space enough for the mother-in-law and twelve boxes of tissues. A Rolls will deliver you to the wedding in a style and comfort more akin to oceangoing liners. Trouble is we’ve seen it all before and if you haven’t, just spend 10 minutes on the net or with a phone directory: 99% of the hire companies you find will provide more or less the same car. Nice but dim.

There is a lot to be said for the vintage car. In a world of halogen-lit hydrogen hybrids the sight of polished chrome, spoked wheels and running boards can be refreshing. Cars, however, have been knocking around for some time now and they weren’t all made by Rolls and Royce. Sunbeam, Lagonda, Alvis, Daimler, Mercedes, Bentley, Lincoln, Cadillac, Hudson; all synonymous with luxury touring cars and all available at the touch of a button. When it comes to vintage wedding transport the choice is huge − it’s really just a case of finding one that matches the dress. But there is a certain pomp that is associated with these graceful old ladies which is not to everyone’s taste, so on the following pages are some possible alternatives to get you to your wedding, leave it or perhaps wheel right the way through it.

UNICYCLING

It might take some practice, but how about unicycling through your wedding? When choosing a unicycle as your wedding day transport avoid booking a church with too many steps (unless of course you are a trials unicycle rider) and remember to accessorise your dress carefully with coloured knee pads and helmet. Also, remember to pack light if you’re planning to unicycle off into the sunset as storage space is limited. Get moving: www.unicycle.org.uk

TANDEM

Surely this is the way to start your married life: as a couple in harmony and motion, working together towards a common goal. Peaceful, green and cheap. But watch that lovely dress on the chain! In fact, sod the harmony and motion − put your feet up and let your partner pedal. Get moving: www.tandem-club.org.uk

RICKSHAW

You’ve been standing all morning and running round like a headless chicken for the last month trying to get everything organised. So pedalling away from your ceremony sounds like a lot of hard work. But if you want to be green and freewheeling, a rickshaw may well be your solution. Enjoy the advantages of quietly cycling through the streets without the heavy panting. A Rickshaw ‘chauffeur’ will do all the leg work, leaving you and your partner to get on with some lip work. Get moving: www.lily-peds.co.uk | 07877 596845

TUK-TUK

Been to India? Fancy recreating a heady Asian atmosphere? Then get yourself a Tuk-Tuk, the preferred mode of transport throughout the bustling cities of Asia. Glorified scooters, resplendent with roof and lunatic driver, these characterful trikes buzz all day long through Bangladesh, Beijing and Bangkok. Noisy but unforgettable, you can depart in true Eastern style (perhaps without the lunatic driver), raise a few eyebrows and save a few pennies. Get moving: www.tuctuc.co.uk | 020 7735 5059 Get moving: www.tukshop.biz | 02380 388440 | 07973 261747

MORRIS 1000

There is something irrepressible about the loveable Morris 1000. Affectionately known as Moggies, they are a household name and instantly recognisable. The Morris provides an unpretentious alternative to the grand Rollers and Bentleys. Bear in mind too that although it's vintage the Morris is a very reliable choice, so you shouldn’t have any roadside disasters on the way to the church. Want a soft-top? No problem. Get moving: www.champagneclassics.co.uk | 01263 515408

BEETLES AND CAMPERS

Much like the Morris the VW Beetle is unpretentious, charming and honest. What’s more, it offers a surprising choice of combinations. There are old split screens for the true enthusiast; Herbie derivatives; stretch limousines; new-shape beetles; and why not chuck in a purple camper van for the bridesmaids? You can make a statement rocking up in a Rolls Royce Phantom, but in a Beetle you can express yourself. Get moving: www.beetledriveuk.com | 01827 709045

HORSE & CARRIAGE

Vintage cars are a civilised way of withdrawing from your ceremony, but a horse and carriage is positively elegant. There is a huge choice of firms that can transport you to your wedding in Georgian style: just cruise the internet for one in your area, as moving horse and carriage over long distances is unwieldy and expensive. Black Horses Ltd provides a bespoke carriage service, giving you the choice of a number of different carriages all prepared and presented to the highest standards. They are drawn by a team of beautiful black Friesian Stallions which enjoy the greatest care and guardianship. One of the stallions even drinks tea with its owners in the morning. Refined, dignified and sophisticated. Get moving: www.blackhorses.co.uk | 01539 533781 | 07776 145424

ROUTEMASTER BUS

The local pub, the old red phone box, good manners and the Routemaster bus: all synonymous with bygone Britain. They may have been swept from the grimy streets of London but these icons of British design still rule the road, carrying enthusiasts and private parties around the countryside in distinguished style. Hiring a bus for your wedding certainly solves the problem of who travels in what car: just bung them all in. So if you hanker for the old days when gents wore hats and smoking was thought to be good for you, then hop on a Routemaster and bathe in the glory of a proud postwar Britain. Get moving: www.theheritagefleet.com | 020 8271 3411

HARLEY DAVIDSON

Dreaming of the open road? Bikes are like marmite: you either love them or hate them and there are very few people who populate the middle ground. Even if you’re not a bike nut you’ll recognise the name Harley Davidson, the king of feet-up, elbows-down easy riding. Perhaps not romantic, but it’s damn sexy hopping onto a chopper with your partner and cruising off into the sunset, maybe dropping into a cheap motel on the way to your honeymoon and getting a little rough. Get moving: www.sycamoreharleydavidson.co.uk | 01572 823296

CARS FROM THE SILVER SCREEN

Bonnet-sliding, V8-roaring, tail-happy movie cars. We’ve grown up with them and their coolness is emblazoned on our memories. Now you can powerslide round the church car park in the General Lee, the A-Team van or the Bandit’s Trans-Am. Star Car Hire has a stable of fantastic cars to get you to the ceremony – far too many to mention here – including police cars, New York taxis, pink Cadillacs, James Bond cars and even the Back to the Future DeLorean. What more is there to say? If you want to have some fun and make an impact, get yourself an orange Dodge Charger and a dress that will fit through the window. Get moving: www.starcarhire.co.uk | 0845 017 5017

HELICOPTER

Richard Branson, Alan Sugar and Donald Trump all are super-rich and fly around in helicopters. You may not be super-rich but you could pretend on your wedding day by chartering a helicopter to fly you to and from your ceremony. Helicopters afford you amazing views, dramatic entrances and you won’t have to fret over traffic jams. Just make sure they have some ear defenders to match the dress – oh, and don’t throw the bouquet too high. Get moving: www.flymenow.co.uk | 01759 322577

UN TANK

You know, you can still have a big white wedding and be alternative: just get your hands on a big white tank. In the world of wedding transport you’d be hard pushed to find anything more dramatic than an ex-UN peacekeeping tank. Sounds a bit agricultural? Well, this tank has been fitted with smoked privacy glass and a fridge, and has been trimmed to suit civilian passengers. There are even plans to fit a jacuzzi! The tank seats eight passengers and will destroy anyone’s tedious expectations of a ribboned Jaguar. It’s not that cheap, as the tank needs low-loaders, lots of diesel and quite a crew to operate, but this is your big day – so go big and get a tank. Get moving: www.tanks-alot.co.uk | 01295 768400 | 07860 455636

HOT AIR BALLOON

There are few summer sights as satisfying as a giant hot air balloon majestically making its way across a soft, rich August evening sky. With a little bit of forward planning (bearing in mind hot air balloons can’t launch from just anywhere) you could spend the first hours of your married life in peaceful serenity gliding above the countryside. Champagne, glorious views – and if you’re worried about the wind disturbing your celebration so high up there is none, because you move with it. Perfect. Get moving: www.balloonsoverbritain.co.uk | 01404 822489

ROLLER COASTER

OK, so arguably it’s not transport because a roller coaster doesn’t go from A to B, but for you adrenaline junkies that can’t wait to get a fix after all that standing around a theme park wedding offers all sorts of benefits. Try what Mark Cook and Carole Noel did on their wedding day. Straight after their ceremony they climbed on to the Big One, which took them 235 feet above Blackpool Pleasure Beach before promptly whizzing them around the mile-long track at almost 90 miles per hour. A theme park reception means you get all sorts of transport: Mark and Carole moved on to have a Bride vs. Groom race on the wooden twin track Grand National. There are loads of theme parks and loads of rides – it's just a question of how brave you both are. Get moving: www.blackpoolpleasurebeach.com | 0870 444 5566

50S CLASSICS

If your dress is a candy-striped A-line prom number and your fella is wearing braces and suede brothel creepers then you’re going to need a car to match. How about an electric blue Ford Model B complete with rumbling V8 and white-wall tyres? Or perhaps a cherry-red 1950 Cadillac Fleetwood dripping in chrome? Smooth ride, white leather and red carpets complete the indulgent American feel. Cool Classic Cars have a stable of 1950s Americana that would make any Grease fan go weak at the knees. Get moving: www.coolclassiccars.co.uk | 01702 421731 | 07876 023992

BEFORE YOU GO…

• If you’re gonna spend a bundle on a wedding, why not buy a classic car and drive off into the sunset as part of your honeymoon? You can then continue to enjoy the car afterwards.
• The car might be the star – but remember to check out the driver (or the pilot). A grumpy old codger isn’t going to add sparkle to your day.
• Double check insurances and licences, especially if you’re hiring an unconventional vehicle.
• As with any rental, book early and call a few weeks before the big day to make sure the booking has not been lost or misunderstood. Also, tell the hire company that the booking is for a wedding day. This way your car will be properly valeted and your driver (if you have one) suitably prepared.
• Think of the route, too – if you’re making the effort to get something out of the ordinary then perhaps you should take the scenic route to the reception and make the most of it.
• I know it sounds obvious, but don’t mix the booze and the wheels.

BM