Black Meringue

Festival Honeymoon

Want more from your first break as a married couple than lazing on a sun-lounger surrounded by other loved-up newly weds? Honeymooning at a festival will give great atmosphere, glorious settings and soul-stirring music, explains Richard O'Grady

I’ll bet when you’re packing for your honeymoon, two pairs of wellies, a camping stove and a toilet-roll are the last things on your list. Surely all you’ll need for your holiday is beachwear, a dinner dress, sun-block and a toothbrush, because honeymoon = romance and pampering = moules et champagne sous la Tour Eiffel, non? Not according to some. If you’ve just committed yourself to spending the rest of your life with someone, then perhaps it’s time to celebrate and get trashed – festival style!

Every summer, more and more couples spend their first wedded nights among vast crowds of musos, trampling tradition into the mud for the sake of having a bloody good time. I guess it’s quite like someone throwing a huge party in honour of your big day – a party with your favourite artists playing live and thousands of guests you don’t have to pay for. So why shell out on that predictable break in the Bahamas when you can have an unforgettable time for a quarter of the price? On the other hand it doesn’t have to be a shoestring affair either. Some festivals offer a touch of the VIP treatment so your experience doesn’t have to be all canned food and pack-a-macs.

Amy Winehouse did it in style at Glastonbury last year. The beehive diva splashed out £3,000 on a luxury tepee at Camp Kerala just beyond the fences. Said to be the ‘most romantic place outside India,’ the campsite is home to 50 five-star tents with kingsize beds, showers, lava lamps, rugs, antique furniture, handmade mirrors, scented candles, fresh flowers…oh and its own helipad! Pricey but tempting if you’ve experienced the fourth day of Glastonbury mud without a shower.

You might even want to exchange your vows at a festival. Bestival, on the Isle of Wight, offers an impressive inflatable church so couples can do just that, and Glastonbury’s Lost Vagueness Chapel has been a popular wedding site for years. Not exactly traditional, but the spontaneity of it, the natural wedding with the minimum fuss and both families blissfully unaware – that’s romance isn’t it?
Festivals don’t have to be all about the music either. If you like a more original experience, why not head over to Valencia in Spain to paint the town red with 125,000 kilos of tomatoes? Or to Pampalona to run with 100 angry bulls, then back down to Valencia’s Las Fallas to set fire to everything in sight?

If you both love the classic festival experience though, and don’t mind sharing your special weekend with 50,000 other wreck-heads, then there can be no better way to kick-start your marriage. You’ll certainly have a talking point for life. The excitement. The dramas. The Kodak moments. The hours lost in the small hours of the morning trying to find your way back to your tent.
It’s guaranteed you’ll be serenaded by one or two of your favourite artists through a sea of teary eyes and lofted lighters. You’re sure to meet lots of interesting people (well, drunken) people. On top of all that, there’ll be a vast selection of international cuisine to choose from during your stay (albeit through a hatch on four wheels).

And the cons are all part of the fun. At least you won’t have to endure the predictable routine of breakfast in bed, pool, lunch, beach, dinner, minibar, bed….yaaaawn!

There are so many different shapes and sizes of festival that one is bound to suit your matrimonial needs. Black Meringue has compiled a festival shortlist and given each one a romance rating to help you decide.

SNOWBOMBING

Monday 31 March - Sunday 6 April 2008
Where: Mayrhofen, Austria
Cost: Packages from £219
www.snowbombing.com

A winter sports holiday coupled with a week-long music festival. Spend your days riding the mountain or larking about on the slopes in the fresh spring sun, before an après-ski which includes a fancy dress street party, a late night knees-up in an igloo and one of the best spas you’ve ever seen...all this before you catch a hot live band or world famous DJ. This year expect to see Madness, Calvin Harris, the Pigeon Detectives and the mighty DJ Yoda.

HONEYMOON RATING: 9/10

SOUTHPORT WEEKENDER

Friday 9 May - Sunday 11 May 2008
Where: Southport, Merseyside
Cost: £150 per person, and £40 deposit
www.southportweekender.co.uk

“You’ve booked us a honeymoon at Pontins?!” “Darling – it’s not what you think.” Twice a year, 5,000 dedicated dancers and discerning music lovers descend on four purpose-built arenas at the Pontins holiday complex in Southport. It boasts the biggest names and showcases the best of R&B, soul, hip hop, all flavours of dance music and some party-starting live performances. And when you simply can’t dance anymore, the site’s only five minutes walk from the beach.

HONEYMOON RATING: 5/10

RUN TO THE SUN

Friday 23 May - Monday 26 May 2008
Where: Porth, Newquay, Cornwall
Cost: £81 for adults, £41 children
www.runtothesun.co.uk

Traditionally a Volkswagen owners’ festival, Run to the Sun’s beachside location and cutting-edge dance music has given it a much wider appeal. Petrolheads can look forward to hundreds of classic cars and creative conversions, and ravers are treated to some of the country’s best DJs, from Lisa Lashes to Goldie to the Plump DJs. There’s also some great up-and-coming bands performing across three arenas. Sun is not guaranteed but fun is compulsory.

HONEYMOON RATING: 6/10

DOWNLOAD FESTIVAL

Friday 13 June - Sunday 15 June 2008
Where: Donington Park, Leicestershire
Cost: around £150 for weekend including camping, £130 without
www.downloadfestival.co.uk

Pinkies and index fingers out please, because Download is back to rock out for its sixth year. Expect the very best in metal and rock and lots of on-site activities in The Village, including (my favourite pastime) LaserQuest, human table-football, contortionists and drumming workshops. By no means traditional romance but if you want to confirm your vows in a circle pit, it’s the only place to be!

HONEYMOON RATING: 4/10

ISLE OF WIGHT FESTIVAL

Friday 13 June - Sunday 15 June 2008
Where: Newport, Isle of Wight
Cost: £130 w/e (12 years and under £65) with camping, £110 without camping
www.isleofwightfestival.com

If you can’t remember the seventies, the chances are you were there. In the summer of ‘69 Bob Dylan and The Who led a trail of hippies over the water and doubled the island’s population. The following year, over 50 acts including Hendrix and The Doors played to a reported 600,000 people, beating Woodstock to become the largest human gathering of its time. IOW made a welcome return in 2002. Only drawing a meager crowd of 60,000 nowadays, it still attracts the biggest names in music. Last year’s headliners were the Rolling Stones, this year expect The Police to drop by.

HONEYMOON RATING: 7/10

SONAR

Thursday 19 June - Saturday 21 June 2008
Where: Barcelona, Spain
Cost: e140
www.sonar.es

Europe’s premier electronic music and audiovisual art festival. With a focus on cutting-edge electronic culture, Sonar provides a great mix of thought-provoking digital art and downright hedonistic club nights. Last year the Beastie Boys, Dizzee Rascal and The New Young Pony Club took to the stage under the summer sun (which is almost guaranteed). And if you don’t take to the festival, you just happen to be in one of the most beautiful and romantic cities in Europe.

HONEYMOON RATING: 8.5/10

GLASTONBURY

Friday 27 June - Sunday 29 June 2008
Where: Glastonbury, Somerset
Cost: around £150 – tickets are expected on sale around 1 April 2008
www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk

Perhaps you’ve heard of it? If you can get a ticket (not bitter) expect something like 2,000 performances at 40 or so venues, including cabaret, theatre, circus, poetry, green crafts – oh, and the biggest names in the international music scene – so many you don’t have a cat-in-hell’s chance of seeing them all. If you want to reaffirm your vows, the Lost Vagueness Chapel is a must. Luxury Tepee camping is available if you want to avoid the mud, with kingsize beds if you didn’t imagine spending your intimate honeymoon night on a roll-mat.

HONEYMOON RATING: 8/10

WAKESTOCK

Friday 4 July - Saturday 5 July 2008
Where: Pwllheli, Gwynedd, North Wales
Cost: around £60 for the two days, plus £20 camping
www.wakestock2008.co.uk

Wakestock is Europe’s largest wakeboard music festival with free-to-watch wakeboarding competitions by day and music (live bands and DJs) by night. The site is beautiful, overlooking Cardigan Bay and across to Snowdonia, and holds over 10,000 people each night. If you both like extreme water sports head to Wakestock.

HONEYMOON RATING: 6/10

EXIT FESTIVAL

Thursday 10 July - Sunday 13 July 2008
Where: Novi Sad, Serbia
Cost: about £75 for the four days
http://eng.exitfest.org

Probably the best value music festival out there. With around 600 international performers on around 25 stages for around 75 quid, it’s hard to say no. Find a cheap flight, head to Serbia’s beautiful second city and if it’s anything like last year, you’ll be rewarded by artists like Robert Plant, Snoop Dogg, Lauryn Hilll, Groove Armada, The Wu-Tang Clan, Basement Jaxx, The Prodigy, CSS…must I go on? This year’s acts are expected to be announced in April.

HONEYMOON RATING: 9/10

T IN THE PARK

Friday 11 July - Sunday 13 July 2008
Where: Balado Airfield near Kinross, Scotland
Cost: around £150 w/e with camping, and £130 Sat/Sun without camping
www.tinthepark.com

Scotland’s answer to Reading (and Tennents challenge to Carling) grew to three days last year and has a great reputation for pulling in the big names. The 15th T in the Park looks to be even bigger. Expect a line-up of around 180 mainstream artists to play over 11 stages, and hope that they’ve sorted out the traffic problems!

HONEYMOON RATING: 4/10

INTERNATIONAL BENICASSIM FESTIVAL

Thursday 17 July - Sunday 20 July 2008
Where: Benicassim, near Valencia, Spain
Cost: j160
www.fiberfib.com

Summer in Spain + beach + live music + international reputation = great honeymoon! Benicàssim has fast become the highlight of the party-animals’ year. One of the more diverse line-ups out there, the festival showcases the best in pop, rock and electronic music. Last year saw Arctic Monkeys, Iggy and the Stooges, The Human League, Muse and the Klaxons take to the main stage while some of Europe’s best DJs took to the wheels of steel. The camping pass gives you access to the campsite for nine days, so you can have a whole week in the sun, cheap.

HONEYMOON RATING: 8/10

GLADE FESTIVAL

Friday 18 July - Sunday 20 July 2008
Where: southern England (revealed only to ticket-holders)
Cost: around £120 for the weekend, campervans £40
www.gladefestival.com

The event showcases electronic music from the UK and the world. It has about nine music areas, covering techno, house, breaks, psy trance, dub, ambient and more. Expect the stages to open each day by early afternoon, and to run into the early hours.

HONEYMOON RATING: 6/10

GLOBAL GATHERING

Where: Avon Park Raceway, Long Marston, Warwickshire
Cost: weekend £105
www.globalgathering.co.uk

If you’ve got a whistle! Global has taken over where Cream and Gatecrasher left off, becoming the highlight of the clubber’s summer diary, and best of all they made it two days. Shakespeare would turn in his grave if he knew such a flagrant disregard for lyricism exploded on his patch each year. Expect mind-boggling numbers of world-class DJs, spectacular sound-systems, all the fun of the fairground and a whole lotta love. Last year was headlined by Faithless, 2 Many DJs and Basement Jaxx. Swap your lighters for glow sticks and honeymoon to a very loud beat.

HONEYMOON RATING: 6/10

WOMAD

Friday 25 July - Sunday 27 July 2008
Where: Malmesbury, Wiltshire
Cost: Early Bird £115 for three days. Thursday camping £10; campervans £25
http://womad.org

World music, arts and dance festival pioneered by Peter Gabriel. Born in the UK back in 1982, WOMAD now holds festivals in over 20 countries and draws crowds of around 80,000. WOMAD 2007 was host to the Blind Boys of Alabama, the Asian Dub Foundation, The Kronos Quartet and Toots and the Maytals. The place to be if you’re sick of the charts and serious about music.

HONEYMOON RATING: 5/10

BIG CHILL AT EASTNOR CASTLE

Friday 1 August - Sunday 3 August 2008
Where: Eastnor Castle, Herefordshire
Cost: Early Bird £125; Family (two adults and two children 13-15 years) £320; Friends (four adults) £420
www.bigchill.net

The Big Chill is never just about the music. Set in the grounds of the beautiful Eastnoor Castle, this festival does exactly what it says on the tin. A huge Body & Soul area offers every relaxation treatment you care to imagine, making it the perfect retreat for the busy career-couple. The atmosphere repels the lager-louts and the line-up is essential listening. Last year saw the Go! Team, Mr Scruff and the Guillemots take to the stage.

HONEYMOON RATING: 7.5/10

EDINBURGH FRINGE FESTIVAL

Sunday 3 August - Monday 25 August 2008
Where: Edinburgh, Scotland
Cost: Show tickets vary – more than 300 are free
www.edfringe.com

One for serious culture vultures, the Edinburgh Fringe is a festival of music, theatre and comedy. Last year the UK’s biggest cultural gathering showcased around 31,000 performances of 2,050 shows in 250 venues. Edinburgh being one of the more romantic cities on the island, the Fringe could make a great honeymoon. The fact that this festival lasts three weeks and spreads across a city rather than an arena makes it a really malleable holiday.

HONEYMOON RATING: 9/10

BULLDOG BASH

Thursday 7 August - Sunday 10 August 2008
Where: Shakespeare County Raceway, Long Marston, Warwickshire
Cost: expected to be around £50
www.bulldog-bash.co.uk

A Mecca for bikers, the bulldog bash is an institution of the highest order. Originally a small gathering organised by Hell’s Angels, the motorcycle event is now the largest on the European calendar, drawing a record 50,000 people last year. Policed by the Hell’s Angels themselves, the event maintains an immaculate security record and a family atmosphere. Music takes a backseat (Status Quo headlined last year) as this one’s all about the need for speed and style on two wheels.

HONEYMOON RATING: 4/10

BEAUTIFUL DAYS

Friday 15 August - Sunday 17 August 2008
Where: Escot Park, near Fairmile, Devon
Cost: approximately £90 for the weekend
www.beautifuldays.org

Winner of Best Grass Roots Festival at the 2006 UK Festival Awards, Beautiful Days has the small festival feel of the old Glastonbury. Organised by the Levellers and devoid of corporate sponsorship, the festival is set among the hills and trees of Escot Park. Good music (last year Dreadzone, Gogol Bordello and KT Tunstall), good food, good comedy and a friendly vibe.

HONEYMOON RATING: 6.5/10

THE GREENMAN FESTIVAL

Friday 15 August - Sunday 17 August 2008
Where: Brecon Beacons, Powys, Wales
Cost: £105 (children aged 12 and under are free). Live-in vehicles £35
www.thegreenmanfestival.com

Essentially a folk festival, The Green Man has so much more to offer. The Guardian called it ‘heaven,’ and if the rain holds off on the glorious Brecon Beacons it’s not hard to see why. One tent offers classes in knitting, another will teach the art of dowsing. The food is real and there’s no merchandise. Real, beautiful music too – last year hosted Seasick Steve, Robert Plant and Joanna Newsom. I feel a little guilty for spreading the word.

HONEYMOON RATING: 7/10

V FESTIVAL

(Chelmsford & Staffordshire)
Saturday 16 August - Sunday 17 August 2008
Where: Chelmsford, Essex, and Weston Park, Staffordshire
Cost: around £140 w/e (with camping), £120 w/e (no camping)
www.vfestival.com

This will be V Festival’s 13th year, making it one of the more successful Virgin brands. Spread over two sites, it consistently showcases the biggest names in pop music. Last year saw the Killers, the Kooks and Kanye West draw the crowds…and that’s just the Ks! Unfortunately, the closest you’ll get to romance here could be sharing an extortionately-priced tray of chow mein.

HONEYMOON RATING: 2/10

ELECTRIC PICNIC

Friday 29 August - Sunday 31 August 2008
Where: Stradbally Hall Estate, Co Laois, Eire
Cost: Early bird price: t199
www.electricpicni.ie

Set out in a kind of carnival of arts style, with a giant Ferris wheel dominating the skyline and several bizarre nods to the circus, Ireland’s Electric Picnic has to be a contender for best newcomer. With a lush forest blooming with fairy lights and a cornucopia of calming music, this one’s much more honeymoon than mudbath. Last year: Hot Chip, New Order and Bjork.

HONEYMOON RATING: 8/10

BESTIVAL

Friday 5 September - Sunday 7 September 2008
Where: Robin Hill Country Park, Isle of Wight
Cost: £130 w/e with camping; ages 13-16 £65; under 13 free but ticket needed
www.bestival.net

The second most famous festival on the Isle of Wight is fast gaining a reputation for its unforgettable atmosphere. With Rob Da Bank at the helm there’s always a great line-up – last year the Beastie Boys, The Gossip, The Orb and Bat For Lashes – but the fancy dress festival is defined by its numerous quirky sideshows. With a beard and moustache championship, a mini-casino, burlesque tea parties and the world’s smallest nightclub, Bestival just doesn’t allow boredom. And if you haven’t tied the knot already then the Reverend Duncan Pritchard’s on hand to marry you in his Big Love Inflatable Church.

HONEYMOON RATING: 9/10

READING AND LEEDS FESTIVAL

Friday 22 August - Sunday 24 August 2008
Where: Leeds, West Yorkshire, and Reading, Berkshire
Cost: around £150 for weekend (including camping)
www.readingfestival.com / www.leedsfestival.com

If your relationship is built on beer and rock music, then there’s no better place. Lacking a bit in romance, this north-south makes up for it in headliners – so many you won’t know who to miss. Razorlight, Kings of Leon, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Nine Inch Nails, Arcade Fire, Bloc Party and Smashing Pumpkins adorned the main stage last year. So if you like music, want to see the best and don’t mind celebrating your wedding with a bottle of cider and a burning Portaloo, perhaps this is the weekend for you.

HONEYMOON RATING: 3/10

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