Black Meringue

Oral Fixation

Don’t stuff yourself silly with sausage rolls and mini quiche on the big day. Be selective about what you put in your mouth and prepare for a night of unbridled passion with Dr Pridmore’s guide to aphrodisiacs

Named after Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love and beauty, an aphrodisiac is any food, drug, drink or scent believed to stimulate sexual desire. The claims made throughout antiquity regarding their magical powers remain unproven. However, do they need to be magic at all? Is there instead an actual science behind their unspeakable art?

You don’t need a biology degree to understand the basics of how aphrodisiacs might work. The shape of a rhino horn is enough in itself to see why blokes have come to believe it’ll put lead in their collective pencil, and the very name of the aphrodisiac ginseng translates as ‘man root.’ Along the same lines, and without lowering the tone any further, it’s also possible to see that moist, pulpy oysters and figs have a cognate female quality.

Indeed, over the ages the actual genitals of certain animals have been prized for their stimulating effects. The father of medicine, Hippocrates, is said to have prescribed a soup made from the testicles of a stag (it’s not known if he asked his patient to call him in the morning, after he’d risen), while tiger-penis has long been considered potent by the Chinese. Other foods reputed to be aphrodisiacs produce physical reactions associated with having sex: you eat a chilli or a curry, for example, and you end up hot and sweaty.

Then there’s the fact that aphrodisiacs such as oysters and mussels come from the sea and are found in shells, when Aphrodite and her Roman correlative Venus are celebrated in mythology for having been born on a sea-shell. Aphrodisiacs, then, can certainly boast of a symbolic or totemic weight behind their claims to better all our love-lives. But if we’re going to be (forgive me) hard men of science about it, then how do aphrodisiacs (forgive me) stand up to the rigorous scrutiny of modern western medicine?

Chocolate

Chocolate has been regarded as an aphrodisiac for centuries. The Aztecs certainly used it as one, as did the 18th century lover Casanova who consumed chocolate before frolicking with his many conquests. In the modern world there’s no doubt that chocolate is the preferred gift of love from a man to a woman, but many researchers believe that if chocolate has any aphrodisiac qualities, they are probably psychological rather than physiological.

However, other presumably more fun researchers argue that chocolate causes the body to produce substances called phenylethylamine and serotonin, both of which are pleasure hormones or endorphins. They occur naturally in the human brain, which releases them into the nervous system when we are happy and also when we are experiencing feelings of love, passion or (dare I say it? Yes, I believe I do) lust. This brings on a rapid mood change for the better, an increase in heart-rate, a rise in blood pressure, and all those feelings of well-being, bordering on euphoria, that are usually associated with being in love.

Indeed, researchers who monitored romantically involved couples found they responded more to chocolate melting in their mouths than to kissing. It’s official, one-night stands are redundant in a world where chocolate exists.

Garlic

An aphrodisiac that makes prospective sexual partners reluctant to come anywhere near you seems of questionable worth to me, but the ancient Greeks and Egyptians often used it to put the todger back into their togas. Tibetan monks were forbidden from entering their monasteries if they had eaten garlic, but whether this was because of its reputation for inflaming the loins or just because of its god-awful stench hasn’t been recorded by history.

Modern science has yet to discover a way to make garlic smell any nicer, but recent research has made a strong case for its ability to improve sexual performance in men. This is because it helps blood circulation and stimulates the production of an enzyme called nitric oxide synthase, both of which are needed for a fellow to sustain a healthy erection.

Dr Joerg Gruenwald of Berlin University said: “A lot of men with heart disease will have impotence but not realise poor circulation and narrowing of the arteries in the groin are to blame. Garlic can help. A good flow of blood to the groin means a man should not have a problem with sex.”

Bananas

Well, they’re quite phallic to look at aren’t they? Come on, you were all thinking it. Their downright suggestive dimensions combined with their creamy texture is partially responsible for the reputation bananas have as an aphrodisiac food. An Islamic myth tells us that after Adam and Eve succumbed to the temptation of the forbidden fruit, they started covering their nudity with banana leaves rather than those of the fig (also thought to be an aphrodisiac, interestingly…).

However, what Adam and Eve didn’t know was that bananas are rich in potassium and Vitamin B, necessities for sex hormone production. They also contain an enzyme called bromelain, which enhances male performance and would have made sure Adam started as he meant to go on. After all, the Bible doesn’t say anywhere that the forbidden fruit was an apple, so maybe it was a banana instead?
A few others

Asparagus, with its willylike shape (use your imagination) and juicy interior, immediately comes across as one sensual veggie. It’s been considered an aphrodisiac for hundreds of years, so much so that during the 19th century, bridegrooms were fed three courses of it due to its reputed powers. But asparagus’s true secret is that it’s a strong source of Vitamin E, which is needed for a healthy sex life.

Chillies and Cayenne peppers are rich in Vitamin C which is good for the circulatory system, so like garlic they keep the blood pumping to the right places. I think I’m having a hot flush…

Ginger is one of the oldest medicinal spices in the world and some consider it the equivalent of Viagra in food terms. It can also be used to good effect as part of an aromatherapy blend for massage or a room scent. It serves as a stimulant to the circulatory system and heightens sensitivity, bringing on a pleasant tingle when consumed in moderation. Careful though, too much can irritate the bowels, which is a passion-killer to say the least.

Strawberries, which the knowing ones call ‘fruit nipples,’ are full of vitamins including the gentleman’s best friend Vitamin C. Again, they help strengthen the blood vessels and stimulate circulation to your sex organs.

And finally, oysters. Most famous and trusted of all the aphrodisiacs, since everyone these days knows that zinc, which oysters are bursting with, is important for healthy sperm production. These do exactly what it says on the tin (shell?), especially in springtime which is when they have their greatest aphrodisiac quality. Casanova used to breakfast on 50 of the blighters a day, and let’s face it, he should know.

Recipe ideas

If you’re planning a dinner party of the kind to which the vicar is most definitely not invited, here are a few ideas for an aphrodisiac menu that’s sure to smoulder and sizzle…

Starter
Oysters, of course, are the classic choice here, and they’ll certainly start off your dining delights on the right note. However, you might also think about trying a spot of garlic bread. We’re all aware of the manifold benefits of garlic by now, and wholemeal bread brings the added advantage that wholegrains, like oysters, are rich in zinc. Just stock up on the after-dinner mints and you’ll be fine for later.

Main course
The delights of moules marinieres, or mussels, is a wise option for an aphrodisiac main course. They’re oysters’ cousins and possess many of the same properties, and can be served in a soup made from garlic or chillies which will help things along. Just be careful if you’ve also had oysters as your starter; remember you’ve got an important evening planned and the other associated side-effects of too much seafood are none too sexy. And don’t forget, as far as vegetables are concerned: asparagus, asparagus, asparagus. Buy young stems or just the tips, lightly steam and drizzle with dripping butter before popping them into your or your loved one’s mouth. Believe me, you’ll thank us for it.

Dessert
The easiest one of all, because be honest, is there any dessert that doesn’t put us in the mood? But remember, chocolate has the endorphins working for it so focus on that – how about fusing chocolate ice-cream and sauce with another known aphrodisiac, to create a very grown-up banana split? And if you and your dining companion can dip your dessert in chocolate or something equally pleasant and slip it sensually between each others’ lips, so much the better.

Coffee
After having all that I think you’ll be ready to skip the coffee, so the next course we won’t go into…Contacts
Or if you choose to let someone else deal with the technical side, because after all, you’ve other things to focus on, here are a few of the kind of businesses we need more of…

The Curious Cook
This company specialises in aphrodisiac food, which it’ll deliver to the intimate surroundings of your boudoir or provide in bountiful quantities for liberated folks at the largest of like-minded gatherings. Mistresses of ceremonies Kitty and Mimi promise you’ll find nothing either pretentious or healthy at their business: everything from the ‘wham-bam’ cumin and walnut chocolates to the French knickers-coloured lollies is high-calorie, overindulgent and sensuously ravishing.
T: 020 8693 3960
W: www.thecuriouscook.co.uk

The Chilli Seed Company
Ouch! If you want to spice up you sex life and make it the hottest of the hot, check out the Chilli Seed Company. It specialises in everything chilli-related, and, if you want to combine two of our aphrodisiacs, also makes chilli chocolates and sweets. The Smouldering Chocolate Fireballs can’t fail to set your night alight – if you’re brave enough!
T: 01539 558110
W: www.chileseeds.co.uk

Pelham & Talbot
These purveyors of fine foods can deliver succulent East Anglian oysters straight to your door for that special night in. Prices start at £12.50 for a dozen, but with a minimum online order of £25, you should probably get two dozen so you don’t lose out. It’s a hard life.
T: 01493 843405
W: www.pelhamandtalbot.co.uk

Authentic Wine and Food
This company specialising in good traditional fare can meet all your aphrodisiac needs, and it’s up to you whether or not you tell them what you’re buying it for. English asparagus is just £3.50 for 360g, a champagne and chocolate set goes for £35, and the oyster and champagne gift pack will set you back just £45. Why even leave your house?
T: 0845 6448507
W: www.authenticwineandfood.com

Aphrodite Chocolates
If you’re left in any doubt as to the aphrodisiac qualities of chocolate, just sample Janet Vine’s gourmet handmade English treats from this Essex-based company. Aphrodite offers a full service for the chocolate-lover including same-day dispatch, guaranteed UK delivery and the option to include a message card for a loved one…if you’re not doing the sensible thing and scoffing the lot yourself.
T: 01277 890230
W: www.aphrodite-chocolates.co.uk

BM