Black Meringue

Sod the Gym

Bored of the same four walls and the gym hamster wheel? If you really want to get fit and de-stress for the wedding, make it fun, says Rosie Fuller

It’s the day you’ve been dreaming of all your life, and you want to look the best you’ve ever looked in that dress, costume, corset, suit, or whatever ensemble you have chosen. For many brides or grooms-to-be, this means shedding that extra half stone (or few) that you’ve always been meaning to lose, but, well, never quite got round to losing. But do you really want to spend the run up to your big day sweating away on the treadmill, watching Holby City, with thousands of other lycra-clad members of the rat-race? Losing weight doesn’t have to be a chore. It can in the very least be fun, and is a great way to meet new people and try something you’ve never done before. And who knows, you may end up with a hobby for life. Purely for testing purposes I braved a session in the gym, to see how many calories an average go would burn. A mind-numbing 15 minutes on the cross trainer saw off about 140; the god-forsaken running machine was a bit higher, about 160; and 10 minutes on the bike was about 50. Add to that a few half-hearted attempts at some weights and sit-ups (my soul was almost destroyed by this stage) and a five-minute warm down on the rowing machine and I reckon that’s about 400-450 calories in just under an hour. (If that is drastically fewer than the number that most people reach, then do not tell me because I was very proud of myself.) So, not only will the gym alternatives here be laugh-out-loud fun, refreshing and stress-busting, we’ll use that figure as our target, to make sure we are actually getting the job done.

‘Life is but a dream…’

First up was some water-based fun.

“I’ve never fallen in before,” says rower Gez Hobbs, who’s agreed to take me for a test drive. Followed by a look that says: “and I certainly don’t plan to today.”

If she’d said that before we reached the river I wouldn’t have been worried. I’d always thought I was something of a rowing whiz – I was pretty mean in the blow-up dinghy when I was a kid. But on seeing the boats, which look more than precarious, I quickly change my mind.

The setting is none other than Shakespeare’s birthplace, Stratford upon Avon. Our two-man boat is called Mustardseed. It’s a nice day, for November, and the tourists are out, poised with cameras, waiting for some action – and I’m determined not to give them any. We begin on the rowing machine, just to get the technique right. It’s much more complicated than it looks. And that was just for starters. The boats are much longer in real life than they look on the television – even the two-man boat seems monstrous – as are the paddles, even though these are incredibly light.

Rowing is a total body workout, as you can imagine, and is in the same aerobic league as cross country skiing. It will increase your metabolism and build muscle – if toned arms are what you’re after, look no further. And the proof is in the pudding. Gez’s four-man team, who had been training before I got there, are all incredibly toned. “Rowing is good because in a way it’s like swimming,” Gez explains. “It doesn’t impact on any part of your body, unlike running for example.” When we enter the water it’s every bit as wobbly as it looks. Gez steadies the boat, and I do my best to not flail around too drastically. My first attempt seems to offend a few fishermen, as I career straight across the river towards where they are perched on the opposite bank. Once back on track, Gez takes charge of steering and stability, I concentrate on getting the paddles in and out of the water, and we’re off.

It’s hard, definitely, but it’s a marvellous feeling when it works. Once I get into a rhythm I feel like I could go for miles, with the scenery rushing (well, drifting slowly) by. I am itching to have a go with Gez rowing too, as opposed to her just steering and keeping the boat afloat, and after a while she agrees. It feels like we are flying. The thought of sacrificing this feeling of freedom, of peace, and of, well, floating, for a rowing machine in a techno-fuelled gym is preposterous. And if that’s not enough, think of all those hot rowers that you’d get to ogle at in training.

Calorie counter: most calculations reckon about 500 calories for an hour of moderate rowing – so activity number one smashes the gym’s offering.

Get involved: see www.ara-rowing.org, the Amateur Rowing Association’s website, for what, where, when and how.

Cost: about £200 to join a rowing club for a year – not bad if you consider this includes use of all the boats and facilities. Clubs usually have beginners’ policy so you don’t have to cough up before you’re sure you like it.

Hot stuff

I’ve always been pretty dismissive of yoga. It makes me think of Geri Halliwell prancing around in a leotard, carrying a poodle and looking smug. But when someone told me about an extreme form of yoga called Bikram, which encourages people to forget the grind of the treadmill, I thought it was time I got off my high horse and gave it a try.

Originating in India, Bikram is claimed to be the most effective maintenance system for the entire body. Also known as ‘hot yoga’, it takes place in a heated studio – heated to 110°F (38°C) to be precise. The idea is that the heat allows your body to stretch deeply and open up, increasing flexibility, improving balance, relieving tension and clearing the mind.

But it’s definitely no walk in the park. Beginners are warned that they must have eaten something a couple of hours before the class otherwise they won’t make it; but eating just before the class will make you nauseous. You also need to wear light clothing, take a big bottle of water, and be prepared to work hard and sweat. By the time I arrive for my first Bikram session in Leicester, I’m petrified.

On arrival I meet Libby, the instructor, who’s bubbly and reassuring. “All you need to do in your first class is get used to the heat – try not to overdo it,” she explains. Phew. But my fears come back twofold when I see the class before mine leave the studio – every one of them is dripping, as if they’ve been standing in a shower with all their clothes on. And, well, they stink.

The studio is like being in a sauna. The session begins with some breathing exercises to get you acclimatised, before moving into the first of 26 postures that constitute Bikram. These are positions designed to systematically contract and release every muscle and fibre in your body. They range from fairly simple stretches to daunting balances and twists – there is one point where Libby says helpfully, “Just imagine your legs are ropes, and twist them round each other.” The people in the class are all different standards – some can reach the most mind-boggling positions; for others, like me, touching their toes is a distant dream. I am amazed at how poor my balance is.

It’s hot and hard-going. Luckily Libby is on our side, saying things like: “This one will feel vile, but will balance the endocrine glands”. But towards the end of the session it slowly dawns on me – I feel great. We’re doing stretches on the floor, with a sit-up between each one, which Libby explains will give us energy for the next 24 hours, and my body feels just wonderful – like I’m floating.

This continues after the session is finished. When I leave the studio my clothes are sodden, but after a shower I feel like I’ve already shed half a stone, that I’ve been teetotal all my life, and that I’ve just had a exhilarating dip in a cold sea. I want it to last forever –I will definitely be back for more.

Calorie counter: one session of Bikram burns between 450-600 calories in 90 minutes, often more. Other benefits are that it flushes out toxins and increases oxygen supply to every part of the body.

Get involved: I went to Bikram Yoga Leicester, www.bikramyogaleicester.co.uk, 01162 619262. Bikram is also on offer in London, Brighton, Manchester and Richmond in Surrey, see www.bikramyoga.com for details.

Cost: Bikram Leicester does a deal for beginners, £10 for 10 days, as it takes a few gos to adjust to the heat. Libby explains that this is well worth it, as many people are daunted by their first session. Her colleague Rachel is less delicate: “Some people walk out of their first session, but I’ve only ever had one girl who projectile vomited.” Crikey. After that a drop in class is £9.50, with discounts for series bookings.

Top of the world

Off to the great outdoors for activity number three, to scale the dizzying heights of the Peak District. It sounds hardcore, but rock climbing is serious fun. It’ll get your adrenaline going, and, if you climb outdoors, you’ll end up with a healthy tan to compliment your newly toned figure – even if it is a wind-tan more than anything.

The sport doesn’t just work your arms, as you might think, but your whole body, and improves overall strength, balance, endurance and flexibility. It’s also aerobic, and walking to find the most beautiful, remote places to climb will improve your fitness too. The best place for beginners to start is a climbing wall, to get to grips with the kit and to find your head for heights. The basic kit is a harness and some climbing shoes (look ridiculous, work wonders), which you will be able to hire at the wall. Most places do beginners’ courses and will be happy to show newcomers the ropes! Climbing also needs a partner, so it’s a good excuse to rope in your best man or bridesmaids.

Outdoor climbing is where the real fun starts. The satisfaction you get once you’ve conquered a cliff face and can sit back gazing at the breath-taking view is unbeatable. It’s all about problem solving, trusting yourself and your climbing buddy, and enjoying exploring the outdoors. And climbing is not only good for you physically – it’s a guaranteed stress-buster, as there’s no way you’ll be able to worry about anything else apart from the rock you’re on. I mean, can you really imagine clinging on to a cliff face for dear life and thinking, ‘now, should I get pink flowers or red flowers?’

Jen Dargue, who works for outdoor company Rab, took me to the Peak District for my first ever outdoor climb, following a couple of indoor sessions. Jen, who has been climbing for over seven years, says: “Climbing’s great for your core strength, which is really important for keeping your posture correct in every day life. And the best bit about climbing is that it’s cleansing – when you are climbing you don’t think about anything else apart from the rock and your movement on the rock – all of the baggage you’ve been carrying around just disappears.” It might not sound very high, but even 10 metres up a cliff face I was terrified. But was it worth it? Absolutely.

Calorie counter: intense rock climbing burns 700 calories per hour. Even if you’re not so intense, you’ll still smash the 450 target.

Get involved: www.ukclimbing.com for everything from beginners’ courses and local walls to information on climbs in the UK and beyond.

Cost: A trip to a climbing wall, including shoe and harness hire, is about £10. Forking out for the kit to go outdoors is quite expensive – shoes, harness and helmet will set you back about £100-£150 – but once you have bought it the outdoors comes for free.

I’m in the mood for…

“Right everybody,” shouts the instructor, amidst shrieks and giggles, “it’s time to get in touch with your inner 1920s personality. Strut!”

I’m with five girls from the Black Meringue offices. We’ve been let out on a jaunt to Birmingham, where Hannah Williams of dance workshop company Dance Experiences is teaching us to become flapper girls – masters of the cheeky Charleston. “Now make a ring,” Hannah continues. “This is our Charleston freestyle circle.” More shrieks.

It’s no ordinary dance session. Hannah has kitted us out with true 1920s costumes – spangly black dresses, beads and headpieces. At first we feel awkward, to say the least, especially as Hannah looks amazing, wearing false eyelashes, all the make-up and her hair coiled up on one side. But as soon as the music starts, even for the warm up, feet start to tap, and the odd jazz hand begins to appear. By the end of the hour-long workshop we’ve not only mastered some pretty impressive moves (like the extravagantly named jellyman and the pianoman), we’ve got our very own Charleston dance sequence. Dance Experiences organises Charleston and Can Can workshops for hen parties, as well as for corporate groups and anyone else who wants a bespoke dance workshop. Hannah explains: “It’s a different way of accessing dance. We’re not aiming for technical perfection, but to give people the chance to access personality and sexuality that they might not have known they had. And you lose a hell of a lot of calories, but you don’t notice it because you’re having too much fun.” That’s certainly true. By the end of the hour we are done in, but one thing it hasn’t felt like is a workout. I’m surprised at how out-of-breath I am; being a complete beginner I’d wondered how much exercise we’d end up doing.

But what an experience! Our brief travel back in time to the roaring twenties was not only howling fun, we learnt about the time when skirts were short and speakeasies were the place to go for the risqué. And as an activity to do with a group of friends it couldn’t be better – any self-consciousness flies out of the window as soon as the band strikes up.

All dancing is aerobic, improves flexibility and muscle tone, and is great for your coordination. It’s a way of letting go and losing all your inhibitions – and it’ll leave you with a huge smile on your face.

Calorie counter: estimates vary, but most suggest Charleston dancing burns about 400-500 calories per hour – take that, treadmill.

Get involved: Dance Experiences in Birmingham organises workshops to suit your dancing needs: www.dancexperiences.co.uk; info@dancexperiences.co.uk or see www.jitterbugs.co.uk for Charleston, Lindy Hop and Jive in London.

Cost: dance classes come pretty cheap – £5 a session is about average. A spangled session with Dance Experiences costs £35 a head – but you will look more sparkly than you ever have in your life.

Final whistle

So we’ve climbed up stuff, danced around like crazy, sweated, splashed, and generally had enormous fun. Every activity I tried made me feel great – not only healthy but happy. And the calories? Rock climbing in particular will get you in shape, burning as many as 700 calories per hour, with Bikram yoga not far behind. And if you want a more aerobic form of exercise, dancing or rowing will do just as much good as a conventional workout, getting rid of 400-500 calories per hour. I certainly know one place that I’m not going back to. Although I must remember to record Holby City.

BM