Black Meringue

That's Entertainment

Don't go down the predictable path of soporific speeches, dodgy dancing and too much to drink. Give your guests a night to remember with burlesque acts, trapeze artists and breakdancers. By Lucia Whittaker

Alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all life’s problems – and this holds particularly true at wedding receptions. Whether it’s the best man having one too many on an empty stomach and regaling the guests with repetitive off-colour anecdotes, or having to watch your dad dancing around like a dyspraxic rhino, this particular occasion can fluctuate between the mind-numbingly boring and toe-curlingly embarrassing – but rarely finds a happy medium between the two.

My theory is that it’s down to social embarrassment. When you have large amounts of people with very little in common (close friends and family aside) thrown together in a room with a well-stocked bar, things are bound to turn ugly. What on earth are your 63-year-old insurance salesman uncle Ian and your old college drinking buddy possibly going to say to each other over the chocolate roulade, unless they’ve got a few under their belt beforehand? Unfortunately, it’s only a small step from slightly slurred inter-generational small talk to full-on dad in a state of semi-undress trying to copy your little brother’s Run-DMC moves.
I’d just like to point out here that of course there’s nothing wrong with getting wrecked at a wedding – in fact, it’s only right and proper. Some might say it would be rude not to. But you do want to avoid people being compelled to drink the bar dry purely out of desperation. One way of ensuring this is to give them something to talk about. On these pages is a selection of wedding entertainers who will bring something original and exciting to your reception. They range from the glamorous to the downright outrageous. What they are not is mundane or embarrassing. To avoid turning your reception into the kind of occasion where people have to get so wrecked they forget their own names just to survive the evening, contact the performers on these pages.

Ministry of Burlesque Academy

Featured act: Kittie Klaw

Ministry of Burlesque acts are an ideal choice for those looking for sophisticated, sexy wedding reception entertainment. This is the world’s leading burlesque organisation, whose founder Kittie Klaw has been hailed as the queen of burlesque by both the BBC and Bizarre magazine.

Kim and Neil Shaylor were impressed with the MoB when they booked some of its performers for their wedding reception:
“Having got married in Japan, we wanted to return to England and have a big party/reception for our friends and family. We found a great venue in The Hanbury Club, Brighton, and all we needed was some great entertainment. The Ministry of Burlesque was ideal: we had seen a couple of its performers at different events, and got to make our evening completely bespoke by using the website to view different acts. We chose a variety of acts, all of which were absolutely first-class. Some of them even got in touch with me to see what songs I would like them to perform, etc. Our compere for the night was Dusty Limits, who is amazing and really held the night together, not only introducing the acts and the speeches, but also us cutting the cake. He even did a best-dressed competition for the guests, as they were all asked to dress up for the night. Our guests were completely overwhelmed with the evening, and I would recommend the Ministry of Burlesque to anyone thinking of doing something a little bit different for their wedding reception – it was such an unforgettable evening.”

The recent burlesque revival, spearheaded by Dita von Teese and 2006 film The Notorious Betty Page, gives audiences the chance to experience the glamour of the inter-war period. Why not go one step further and get involved yourself? As well as event entertainment, the MoB also offers a selection of packages suitable for hen nights/weekends, which give participants the chance to learn burly skills themselves. The packages accommodate up to 25 people (if there are more of you, get in touch via MoB’s website and its staff will arrange to accommodate you). The packages can be tailored to suit your exact requirements; tutorials include striptease, tassel twirling and fan dancing plus much more.

0844 8442444 | www.ministryofburlesque.com
Visit http://production.ministryofburlesque.com/ for more details on MoB’s event production

Shoestring Circus

Shoestring Circus’ slogan is ‘no job too odd.’ It offers walkabout entertainers in various guises including human statues, vicars, silver aliens, Hell's Angels, stilt-fairies and devils. The group also employs circus performers with spectacular skills, including tightwire and aerial acts. The rigs for these acts are free-standing, so can be erected indoors or out – making them ideal for your reception wherever you choose to hold it.

0114 2436887 | 07775 561146 | weddings@shoestringcircus.co.uk

Duende Oriental

Artistic, skilful and entertaining, Duende Oriental offers a bellydance show with professional dancers working in a classical Egyptian/Middle Eastern style with Turkish and American elements. The show, which lasts from 20 minutes, can include props like candles, veils, double veils, Isis wings, sticks, finger cymbals and swords.
You can also book a complete Arabian theme night, with Arabian tent, Middle-Eastern food, drummer and band, bellydance show, and bellydance and drumming lessons.
Duende’s Eva Green is also available as a solo artist.

To contact Eva: eva123064@yahoo.co.uk | 0208 3937485 | 07775872227 | www.bellydanceartist.co.uk
To contact Duende Oriental: 0208 393 7485 | 07775 872227 | 07858 117028 | duendeoriental@yahoo.co.uk | www.duendeoriental.com

Artizani Ltd

Specialist in spectacular theatre Artizani can bring a circus twist to your wedding in a variety of ways. The group’s most popular wedding theme consists of two or four golden cherubs with an ‘Eros’ theme: loincloths and bows and arrows with hearts. Artizani is increasingly finding that people want to tailor their own wedding package, though, so if you prefer you can chat to a representative who will then come up with different characters depending on your requirements. Some of Artizani’s wedding themes include Alice in Wonderland, Regency and Roman soldiers. The performers usually take on an ice-breaking role, providing comedy and a general talking-point for your guests.

Another Artizani performance is the ‘punt’ – an adapted electric vehicle which, when used in a piece of street theatre devised by the group, is ‘sailed’ down the street by two Oxbridge undergraduates blissfully unaware of either reality or physics. This punt is also available for functions, and Artizani has recently received an enquiry from a bride wanting to arrive at her wedding in it.
It’s best to arrange a price with the group if you want a custom package, but basic costs are £300 for one performer; £500 for two; and an extra £250 for each additional performer. You also need to factor in 25p per mile travel expenses and VAT.

07770 300907 | info@artizani.net | www.artizani.net

Funkstylerz

Breakdance group Funkstylerz have performed all over the world – their credits include Madonna’s 2006 world tour and the K-Swiss trainers TV ad campaign. Their explosive act features a blend of street dance and acrobatics. Funkstylerz have a selection of shows suitable for wedding celebrations: past events have included showcase performances with a band, exhibition battles, and even choreographed shows with the bride and groom. They will gladly mix with guests to encourage them to dance, or even teach willing participants some funky moves on the dance floor. They can also provide a DJ service.

Couples who’ve booked Funkstylerz have variously described them as ‘the most incredible dancers I have ever seen’ (Bilal Shah, London); ‘defying the laws of gravity’ (George and Rebecca Longland, Surrey); and ‘a wonderful performance’ (Susan Tomlin, London).

0208 939 9002 | info@pro-dance.co.uk | www.funkstylerz.co.uk

The Great Voltini

Treading a fine line between the comedic and the outrageous, the Great Voltini’s Electrocution Show first came to the public’s attention when he appeared on Graham Norton’s TV slot in 2002, shooting 500,000 volts up his arse and lighting a petrol-soaked firetorch held by Norton with sparks from his fingers. Since then, with his voluptuous assistant Nurse Electra by his side, he has toured UK nightclubs; shocked the Japanese at the Fuji Rock festival; toured with the Circus of Horrors; appeared in the BBC series Magic playing the part of Walford Bodie and lit up the cabaret tent at Glastonbury festival. Voltini has another character up his sleeve: the Bastard Son of Tommy Cooper, a magician with surreally childish tricks and a masochistic passion for self-injury. If you think your wedding party can handle it, contact Voltini/Bastard via the websites listed below.

www.bastardentertainment.com | www.voltini.com

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